A Bagel in a Plate Full of Onion Rolls

Hi- I missed you. I missed you so much actually. I really missed writing a few times a week. It's kind of a nice way to relax. And I missed you guys, I loved all the feedback I would get and telling you all about everything. So, screw this whole skinny thing- its clearly not working out! BUT! I am going to keep blogging. I'm not sure what about yet, because the skinny mission was such a bust, but, I'll figure out something. I mean, I have to or how else will I get a movie/book deal? ;)

Anyway, what have been up to since the last post? I joined match.com. I know- seriously. I don't really know what possessed me to do it. That's a lie- it was my mother. I think it was her telling me that I needed a boyfriend first, when I was telling her I decided where I wanted to have my wedding. I in no way shape or form have any interest in getting married anytime soon, but it did make me think that it might be fun to meet new people. Since, although I love my social circle, the straight men are far and few between. What's the harm in joining online community right?

So, I've been on a few dates the past couple months with a bunch of guys. Don't worry this will not be some twisted Carrie Bradshaw-esque blog. Maybe, just this post. ;) (Oh, and by the way, did you see the second movie? Awful, right? I LITERALLY- and I mean literally, wanted to poke both my eyes out when they started singing "I am Woman". COME ON!) The dates were fine, but that was it. Just fine. The guys were nice and polite, and I think a little confused because I just kept talking and talking. It's what I do when I get a little nervous, or tipsy, or excited, or really anything. They couldn't get a word in edgewise. My bad. I still was asked on second and third dates though, so I couldn't have been THAT terrible of a date.

But, let me tell you about one unbearably awkward moment. I go out with this one guy to a bar near my apartment. There is only one bathroom in the whole bar. Annoying, because the line is always long but, whatever. We both are going to use the bathroom before we leave, and he lets me go in first. Gentleman- like. I walk in, and someone, I don't know how, has literally pooped all over the ENTIRE toilet. Like in ways that I can't even describe to you. All over the place. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I have to go to the bathroom myself, and there isn't another bathroom around. But, I don't want him to think that I made this mess. I'm not going to clean it up right? Like you can't clean it up. Right? I contemplated that for awhile, when I decided to just pee as fast as humanly possible so, he would know that I COULD NOT have made that mess. And give fair warning before letting him enter the pit of disgusting. When he came out he said "Well, that was a night ender". I just smiled and we walked out of the bar. I did get asked out on another date, so I guess he knows it wasn't me. But, I could have died.

So, yeah, that's type of stuff that's been going on. I'm getting over the match.com thing though. Everyone is nice, but I want that spark, you know? Not fireworks- just something. I'm like Fanny Brice, a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls and I think I'm going to meet a nice other bagel someday-who is chubby, funny and cooks.

I will update soon.

xoxo,
Marisa

I haven't written a post in a month because...

Hi Everyone! I missed you guys. Apologies for not writing in over a month. Let's just say I have had literally nothing to write about, because quite frankly, I have done nothing healthy in that time. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I've been eating grilled cheeses at lunch (only twice), pasta any time I can get it (way more than twice) and drinking Blue Moons like it's nobodies business (it's just the perfect Blue Moon weather!)

Oh, and exercise, forget about it. I've done nothing, except for carry my 40lbs gift bag from a work event 30 blocks and up my stairs (6 flights if you remember). I now have a bruise on my shoulder but, an excessive amount of beauty products on my kitchen table. So you win some, you lose some. To top it all off, my yoga buddy moved back to India for the summer, so I've had no one to go with. I suppose I could go on my own, but what's the fun in that? I need someone to complain at how ridiculous all the crazy breathers are. There is literally no reason to grunt like that. I don't care how "in the zone" you are. Do it on your own time. Also, I thought that maybe you all would be a bit sick of hearing about the things I've found that do actually taste better than skinny feels. I keep finding a lot. Maybe, that's the curse of living in New York City.

Oh, oh, oh! I did do something to improve my life, in a not particularly healthy way. And by I did, I mean something kind of happened to me and I actually did nothing. A DRESSER APPEARED ON MY DOOR STEP! I'm not even kidding! Right in front of my building! It's 4 big drawers and 2 little ones on top. It's great and my room is much cleaner because of it.

Also, on the theme of not doing anything healthy, some out of town friends came to New York. And I always love when that happens, its always the funnest weekend! We went dancing (kind of healthy, if we don't count the pizza and beer I had before that), we celebrated Billy's birthday, we saw puppies you could adopt, had drunk brunch (for those of you who don't know what drunk brunch entails- its a brunch [ideally at 1:00pm but sometimes earlier] where with a meal you get all you can drink mimosas and things for two hours or so. The waiters usually just keep filling up your drinks, so you lose count and hence drunk brunch is born) and basically just had a wonderful time.

And last weekend, Jon, Adina and I went to Queens. We went to the old 1964 World's Fair grounds- which is awesome! It was kind of cool because, each of us had a parent(s) that went in 1964/1965. It definitely would have been a site to see, but now its just a park with old buildings and things from 1964. Cool and a little sad. We saw an almost 10,000 square foot model of New York City, which was incredible. It was at the World's Fair. I think they last updated it in like 1992, so it wasn't the most up-to-date. But, we found where our apartments were! Cool!! And then we went into Flushing and ate some Chinese. A very fun day!

So, that's what I've been doing in a nutshell, working, eating, dancing, drinking Blue Moons, general bopping around New York. We'll see how the healthy thing turns out, but I'm going to promise to update more, even if its just discoveries about things that taste better than skinny feels.

Love,

Marisa

Fat Rats

Helllllo! After moving to New York City, I've had many an interaction with rats. Thankfully, they have all be contained to subways and the street because I find them utterly revolting. In fact, when I woke up in the middle of the night last fall to an awful Eee Eee noise, like a little animal breathing, I came very close to my first indoor interaction with a rat. At first, I thought Easy, the dog from the apartment across hall, had somehow got into my room. When I realized this was impossible, I went to the next most logical conclusion- a rat. A rat had somehow gotten into my bedroom! What on earth was I going to do with a rat in my bedroom. I laid in bed, not moving, not breathing. I thought it would be able to hear me, and just do something completely grotesque. What exactly I had no idea, but I'm pretty sure rats only do disgusting ratty things with their little rat tails and little pointy rat teeth. I slowly turned on my light and looked down on the ground- no rat. Just my heater coming on for the first time. Moral of this story- I hate rats, and never thought I had much in common with these gross creatures until I saw this article- "Junk food addiction may be a clue to obesity- study".

Basically, these scientists separated rats in three groups- one had a healthy balanced diet, one had healthy balanced diet but could eat things like ding dongs, bacon and cheesecake etc. for one hour a day, and one group could only eat that shitty/wonderful junk food ALL THE TIME. Ultimately, the first two groups were fine, but the third group quickly got obese and just like kept eating. Oh, and they trained the rats to be afraid of the light by shocking them whenever a light came on. The third obese group, just kept eating their food when the light came up. No fear, just needed those sweet treats.

Also, it looks like the fat rats had lower levels of a certain dopamine receptor just like humans addicted to drugs! Woah- so, binge eating high-calorie delicious foods is like being addicted to cocaine. It's compulsive.

Thankfully, I don't ONLY eat high-calorie foods, although sometimes I feel like I do. But, this information is definitely handy when thinking about taking the first handful of potato chips, or opening that pack of ding-dongs. I mean, we all try to stay away from addictive drugs, right? Why wouldn't I try to stay away from over-indulging in junk food? Just a new way to think about things.

xoxo,

Marisa

Finding the Balance

Hi All! You know that not- actually- eating -healthy rut I was telling you about? Well guess what, I'm still in it. But, the fact of the matter is, I continue eating wonderful and fattening things- so, other than the slight feeling of guilt, there is not much keeping me on the right track. I mean, I have found several things in the past few weeks that go under the "Things that Most Definitely Taste as Good, if Not Better, Than Skinny Feels" list. Let me give you the highlights so we are all on the same page as I continue my relationship with food story.

1. The "That Way" Sandwich at "This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef", which is a new Roast Beef Sandwich place on 1st Ave. The "That Way" sandwich is roast beef, au jus and mozzerella on a large baguette. My friend Rob took me there a week or so ago- and I've already been back once more after that, and talking about it non-stop. Legit, non-stop. Ask my mom, I've must of mentioned it a million times. I will literally tell anyone who will listen. First, the place is adorable. There are only three sandwiches on the menu (you don't need a million things, if can do one thing right, in my opinion) and I've only tried the "That Way" and quite frankly, I'm content. I'm not sure if I'll be trying the "This Way" which has Cheese Wizz on it. Gross. It's not a fancy place, just a counter to stand at while you eat your sandwich. They have some rolls of paper towels. And oh my god, do you need the paper towels. The au jus, which is as incredible as the meat and bread, drips down you arms in the best possible way. It is absolutely incredible. Oh, also, to anyone who is familiar with Artichoke, its by the same people.

2. This is a cake product. Obviously- no news there :) I finally got to go to Billy's Bakery this weekend. And let's just say the slice of chocolate cake with white frosting got the Marisa's Seal of Approval (which is actually a very hard seal to get as far as cupcakes/cake goes). I still put Sugar Sweet Sunshine at the top of my list, but Billy's came to the plate swinging. The frosting was pretty darn good, and the cake was moist (not Sugar Sweet moist, but we can't all be perfect).

Both things, are way better than skinny feels. I will take the forever on my hips, if I can have these things for a mere moment on my lips. And this, is my problem. I'm still all for the instant gratification and will deal with the aftermath later. I suppose that's the 22 year old in me. I have all the time in the world to get healthy right? ....yeah, I know. Not right. I'm going to work on this and get back on the right train.

Its just frustrating when you truly love food- wait no, fattening foods. I love them and will always love them but, I do not need to have them EVERY meal. And, I mean come on, do I really need two cupcakes in a day? But, if I do happen to have two cupcakes in a day, like I did today (hey-they were mini, so it's like one...kinda), I did a little yoga. I also walked home from work, and walked to yoga (there and back!) I think that its easy to start something super motivated, but it takes work to actually find something that you can maintain for the rest of your life. I mean, I maintained this blog...and who really thought that would last?

xoxo,

Marisa

Story of My Life: Part Deux

Hey- Oh my goodness, how beautiful is the weather today? I can't even take it- it's like July out there. I'm in heaven. This weather makes me want to stay outside forever. I often think about moving someplace warm year round, and then I realize that without seasons the nice weather seems less special. Like cupcakes- if you have one every once in awhile, they seem a little more special, right? Says the girl who walked about 40 minutes last night to go to Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Hey, I walked there, its gotta count for something, right? Which brings me to my next subject...chafing.

Yesterday was another GORGEOUS day. Absolutely incredible, and my usual urge of going straight home from work to watch some reality show was eclipsed by my need to be outside- to feel the warm air and just generally walk around with a hop in my step. I wore my new spring dress that I got when I went home. (I wore a belt! It helped with the whole boob/waist issue from the last post) and was looking adorable if not a little season-pushingy. But who really cares when it is so beautiful outside? I also did not wear tights. What a mistake it turns out. I just walked and walked all over lower Manhattan, without a care in the world. Completely not caring that I have major, major chafing issues. I know its not an only an issue for short legged, slightly chubby thighed girls. I mean, the only way to avoid this problem is to have thighs that go inwards or something...since that won't happen until I grow 10inches or become an Olsen Twin- I gotta figure out a way to solve this problem.

It's been a constant issue my entire life, including one particularly awful-chafing moment in Disney World. I had to walk around Epcot Center, waddling- making sure my thighs did not touch, all while wearing one of those hats from the China-land section of the World Showcase. It was not a pretty site. I mean, I don't know about you all, but legs will bleed from so much chafing. And that hurts- and is clearly a problem I need to solve. I feel like I love walking in the city, and can honestly walk almost anywhere if the weather is nice. Which is great for the skinny mission. Actually amazing, since the whole rec center thing is not working out the way I hoped it would.

I solved the problem last year by wearing bike shorts under my dresses. A fine solution-until it actually got hot out. Then, I was dying- what is worse, being so hot you felt like you were in hell? Or bleeding and ultimately felt like you were in your own personal torture device in hell? I could never decide, and ultimately went back and forth between bleeding legs or being unbearably hot. I've done the baby powder thing too- fine for the morning, but what about when you are out all day? I mean, am I really going to apply baby powder to my legs throughout my day? Let's not even get started on the smelling like a small child thing. Also, we all know what happened when Lindsay Lohan used "baby powder" to "stretch out her shoes". I just can't let that be me. Oh, and I can't even forget to tell you that one of the preventions for chafing is KEEPING HYDRATED. God, everything in my life would be so much better if I drank the right amount of water. ;) Which I've really been trying to... I hear there is this chafing lotion cream thing...I'm gonna have to get it. I can't go another summer with worrying about chafing. It's just that absolute pits.

On that note, I am going to figure out something to do about the current pain I'm in now.

xoxo,

Marisa

Story of My Life

Hello! When I went home, my mom took me shopping (thanks, Mama!) and since I've lost some weight clothes are fitting me differently, and by that I mean, way better. But, I still run into the same problems I've been having since I was 9. When I was in the 4th grade I got my first bra. I was second in my class to get a bra- and let's just say I died of excitement. I knew that this meant I was finally becoming the woman I always dreamed of. (In my imagination, I would have been 5'10''...but you win some, you lose some). My mom and I went to Bradlees, which does not exist anymore but was kind of Walmartesque, and I got a little 9 year old bra. I spent the entire rest of the week trying to figure out ways to take a peek at my new accessory (or I guess, accessories). I was absolutely thrilled- and am still absolutely thrilled to be "ample-breasted".

But, 4th graders aren't meant to have large boobs and I quickly went from kids clothes to "in-between sizes" to just not knowing what to do. I spent 5th grade wearing only overalls. I'm not even remotely kidding- I truly wish I was. I had every type of overall imaginable- pink, black and jean. In the summer I had short overalls, but wasn't allowed to shave my legs. It wasn't pretty. Oh, and to top it all off, when the snaps broke I had to tape the bottom, so I could continue wearing the overalls complete with scotch tape. It's a wonder why cute boys in my class didn't want to talk to me...;)

What I didn't realize the day I got my first bra, was what a pain in the neck trying to find appropriate clothing would be the rest of my life. I could keep on wearing overalls forever, but there comes a time in a girl's life wear she needs to start wearing real pants. On "What Not to Wear" and "Oprah" they always say things like dress for the best part of your body. Well I known full well that the best parts of my body are my boobs and small waist. I've known this for a long time, but for whatever reason it seems that the fashion industry does not know this. They insist on making dresses for girls with nothing on top (which is fine- but what about the rest of us?!) and then I either can't zip the top, or look like I'm getting ready to hang out with Hugh. The other problem that I kept running into this weekend was, okay, the top fits and is "modest" or as modest as I'll ever be, but then the waist is huge! And because I'm short (God, I wish I was 5'10'') the waist is at such a strange part of my body. These dresses are not helping me show the world what my mama gave me! It can be pretty frustrating, but what we realized is I need to utilize far more belts in my life. This is the perfect solution. It will help sinch my waist, and showcase the hourglass figure I naturally (luckily!). Maybe someday I can start a fashion line for girls like me. That would be the life!

Talk you later,

Marisa

Home is Where the Food is

Hi, My Friends! After a long, long journey, I made it home to Cape Cod. I am happily sitting on my couch, blogging and watching my dog Max twitch while he sleeps. A perfect Saturday night. The trip here was annoying to say the least. Partially was my fault, partially was the elements fault. On the bus from New York to Boston, we were in standstill traffic for like an hour to an hour and half because of flooding in Rhode Island, yattah yattah yattah. Obnoxious, but what made it unbearably painful was I brought nothing to eat. Well that's not true. I had an apple and the kid sitting next to me gave me his extra bottle of water. Again, I think I watch far too many crime shows, because I immediately assumed it was a way to slip me some hallucinogen or roofie or something. It wasn't. He was just being nice. So I had an apple and a water.

In any event, I'm sitting on this epically long bus ride, with almost nothing to eat. I thought my stomach was going to eat itself. Being healthy is my mission. Starvation is not. I got off the bus, and instead of going home like I thought I would be, I went to my cousin Catie's apartment in the Boston area. I was so hungry, that when she said something on the phone that sounded curiously like "then we'll get something to eat". I quickly said "THANK GOD! I'M STARVING!" I don't think she said anything about food or eating, but she picked up on my extreme need to eat immediately and was so sweet, she gave me the apple in her bag for the walk home and we made Annie's Easy Mac as soon as humanly possible.

However, the rest of the weekend I've completely made up for ever being hungry at the beginning. My father is an excellent cook and has made sure that I am not even remotely hungry. We had incredible Linguine and White Clam Sauce last night with stuffed Portobello Mushrooms and Asparagus. AMAZING. Then this morning, my cousin Catie and I ate the best blueberry pancakes I've ever had. The secret is Fresh Blueberries. ;) And helped my dad with a little experiment-which was better White Eggs or Brown Eggs? After several of both "Egg A" and "Egg B"s, I determined that Brown Eggs are actually better. Who knew? Well, now we all do.

Then my mother took us out to lunch which was great- we got to meet all of her friends and I had an excellent steak tip sandwich. But dinner, oh my goodness, dinner. My father outdid himself. We had a few hours in between lunch and dinner which was good, because man oh man, I needed to prepare. He made just about all of my favorite things. Beef Tenderloin, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffed Shells, Grilled Vegetables and Shrimp Risotto, and Stuffed Clams. My God, was it good. I ate far too much, but I need to savor every moment. I don't know when I'll be able to come home next, so I need to prepare for my diet that does not include that oh-so-expensive Tenderloin.

Then, my Aunt Susan brought the best candy in the world over for dessert. I was in heaven, and have been eating peanut butter bunnies since the moment we opened the bag.

As you can see, the Skinny Mission is completely thrown out the window as soon as I cross the bridge to Cape Cod. But, it is so good to have such incredible food, and see my family. It's nice to be out of the city too. Sometimes you just need a weekend away from the hustle and bustle and home to On Demand, parents and Mashed Potatoes.

Gotta go- watching "Law and Order SVU" with my mom. The kid from "Blind Side" is on playing the big kid with a heart of gold.

Bye!