Hi- I missed you. I missed you so much actually. I really missed writing a few times a week. It's kind of a nice way to relax. And I missed you guys, I loved all the feedback I would get and telling you all about everything. So, screw this whole skinny thing- its clearly not working out! BUT! I am going to keep blogging. I'm not sure what about yet, because the skinny mission was such a bust, but, I'll figure out something. I mean, I have to or how else will I get a movie/book deal? ;)
Anyway, what have been up to since the last post? I joined match.com. I know- seriously. I don't really know what possessed me to do it. That's a lie- it was my mother. I think it was her telling me that I needed a boyfriend first, when I was telling her I decided where I wanted to have my wedding. I in no way shape or form have any interest in getting married anytime soon, but it did make me think that it might be fun to meet new people. Since, although I love my social circle, the straight men are far and few between. What's the harm in joining online community right?
So, I've been on a few dates the past couple months with a bunch of guys. Don't worry this will not be some twisted Carrie Bradshaw-esque blog. Maybe, just this post. ;) (Oh, and by the way, did you see the second movie? Awful, right? I LITERALLY- and I mean literally, wanted to poke both my eyes out when they started singing "I am Woman". COME ON!) The dates were fine, but that was it. Just fine. The guys were nice and polite, and I think a little confused because I just kept talking and talking. It's what I do when I get a little nervous, or tipsy, or excited, or really anything. They couldn't get a word in edgewise. My bad. I still was asked on second and third dates though, so I couldn't have been THAT terrible of a date.
But, let me tell you about one unbearably awkward moment. I go out with this one guy to a bar near my apartment. There is only one bathroom in the whole bar. Annoying, because the line is always long but, whatever. We both are going to use the bathroom before we leave, and he lets me go in first. Gentleman- like. I walk in, and someone, I don't know how, has literally pooped all over the ENTIRE toilet. Like in ways that I can't even describe to you. All over the place. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I have to go to the bathroom myself, and there isn't another bathroom around. But, I don't want him to think that I made this mess. I'm not going to clean it up right? Like you can't clean it up. Right? I contemplated that for awhile, when I decided to just pee as fast as humanly possible so, he would know that I COULD NOT have made that mess. And give fair warning before letting him enter the pit of disgusting. When he came out he said "Well, that was a night ender". I just smiled and we walked out of the bar. I did get asked out on another date, so I guess he knows it wasn't me. But, I could have died.
So, yeah, that's type of stuff that's been going on. I'm getting over the match.com thing though. Everyone is nice, but I want that spark, you know? Not fireworks- just something. I'm like Fanny Brice, a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls and I think I'm going to meet a nice other bagel someday-who is chubby, funny and cooks.
I will update soon.
xoxo,
Marisa
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