Hey- Sorry I haven't written in awhile. My computer in New York is having issues. The kind where it shuts down after approximately 15 minutes. Ugh! And I just went home for the weekend where my house computer wouldn't turn on. Ugh to the max! Needless to say my family is having major computer issues currently. Hopefully they will all be solved someday. Until then, I will just have to blog on the days where my computer is a little less temperamental.
Anyway, I went home this weekend, which was very fun and didn't adhere to any of my rules. I basically was Carrie when she was having the affair with Big while dating Aidan this whole weekend. I just did whatever I wanted to do and not even Miranda could stop me. I binged on bread, mashed potatoes, chocolates, more bread, and cheese. I had extra cheese on my omelettes my dad made me in the morning. I kept "tasting" the two different types of chocolates my aunt brought over- I just had to decide which one I liked better. I ate the crappy white bread and followed it up with a few slices of delish homemade garlic bread. Oh, I should also mention that I ate a slice of red velvet cake which quite possibly was the size of three cupcakes. And in that moment- I knew I was tasting something that was as good as skinny feels.
However, all wonderful things have to come to the end. And my weekend away from reality ended the moment I drove over the Manhattan Bridge and realized even though you are vacation- those calories count. And I felt just as sleezy as Carrie did when she realized she was meeting Big for hour long rendez-vous in shitty hotels. I think it was that woman from My Big Fat Greek Wedding who said she lost a bunch of weight by breaking up with cheese. I thought she was ridiculous- no one breaks up with food. Now, as I am I getting back from my weekend of binge eating, I feel like a girl who went to lunch with her ex-boyfriend because "she could handle it" and ends up crying because she realizes she still loves him even though he was emotionally abusive. (Note: I have never been in that situation but imagine this is what it would feel like). I can't handle it. I am definitely breaking up with my waist-line abusive foods. I am not a girl who can have one cookie and not go back for seconds. I am a girl who needs just not to have a cookie to begin with or eat one cookie and then put poison on the rest. Since I don't have poison readily accessible at all times (or any time I guess), and it seems a bit of a waste I am going to remain on my train of just not having it to begin with. I am going to have a clean break from my "danger foods" until maybe a few months from now when I can be friends with white bread, chocolate, and cheese. Until then I will just have to start my new LTR with yoga, salads and non-fat yogurt with no distractions from the exes.
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